Custom Search

Girls night out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something.

The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Get More Funny

To read more please visit us at http://Just-Funny2000.blogspot.com
To free subscribe please click Here
Herbs Story FreeSoftware
Free Classified Forever http://freeadportal.blogspot.com

Human Stupidity


1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

. 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.

11.Only in America.....Will you go to a restraunt in seaworld and ask for bandaids and get mayonnaise

EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

------------------ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) (Ok, It was supposed to be translated as " to be used for intended use only" basically what it means is don't use your food processor as a wood chipper people. lol)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


To read more please visit us at http://Just-Funny2000.blogspot.com
To free subscribe please click Here
Herbs Story FreeSoftware
Free Classified Forever http://freeadportal.blogspot.com

Funny Bull




Related Posts with Thumbnails

Leave Message Here


Our Blog List

Join Our Community

 Subscribe in a reader

Add to Google Reader or Homepage

Click here to join JustFunny2000

Funny Keywords

Women (4) Dog (3) Baseball In Heaven (2) Bra and Panty Joke (2) Clean Joke (2) FINAL EXAM (2) Funny Accidents (2) Funny Pictures (2) Funny Story (2) Funny sex (2) Husbands (2) Man (2) Mature Joke (2) Perfect Partner (2) funny (2) funny animal (2) george bush (2) joke (2) marriage (2) medical joke (2) $200 Bucks (1) 10 Husbands Still a Virgin (1) 199 DAYS (1) 32 mature truths (1) 5 Lethal Asian Foods (1) <iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/SBvvPhJIKPQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> (1) A Good Lover (1) A Michael Jackson Joke (1) A blonde (1) A loving couple (1) Actor (1) Amazing Funny Axe Commercial (1) Amish (1) Anti Smoking Advertisement (1) Ariana Lima (1) Arnold Schwartzenegger (1) Art (1) Asking for a Raise (1) Bad Cat (1) Balti (1) Beer Recycling (1) Bees (1) Better relationship (1) Bikini wedgie (1) Bird attack (1) Blonde Police Application (1) Body (1) Boomerang Ball (1) Britney (1) Bush Favor (1) Can (1) Car Jokes (1) Carrot Slicer (1) Celebrity Jokes (1) Chad Vader (1) Chico maniobrando balón de fútbol trepado en poste (1) Clubbing (1) Coded Message (1) Colonel vs Camel (1) Commercial (1) Compliments (1) Computer Programmer (1) Condom Commercial (1) Cool (1) Couple of Blonde Men (1) Crazy Resolutions (1) Dad will never say (1) Dam Fish (1) Dead Daddy (1) Deductive Reasoning (1) Demotivational Poster (1) Dentist Joke (1) Difference after Marriage (1) Dirty Forks (1) Divorce (1) Divorced Barbie (1) Doctor (1) DrLaura (1) Dragon Car (1) Drink Milk (1) Drive (1) Drive Thru (1) Eddie Bigfoot in laws (1) Eddie Murphy (1) Eddie Murphy Jokes (1) Efficiency consultant (1) Egg (1) Elephant at the Zoo (1) Empire State Building (1) Essays (1) Everything Is Funny (1) Extra Large Condoms (1) Extreme Anti Smoking Ad (1) FedEx Golf Commercial (1) Fiji Meat Man (1) First day (1) Football is played for 45 minutes? (1) Forgetful (1) Free Show (1) From (1) Funniest video EVER (1) Funny Anti Smoking Commerical (1) Funny Bull (1) Funny Magic Trick (1) Funny Mother joke (1) Funny Quotes (1) Funny Videos (1) Funny Women (1) Funny commercial (1) Funny sport (1) Gender (1) Gender Roles (1) Ghost sounds (1) Girl (1) Girl Friend Warning Notice (1) Girls (1) Girls night out (1) Good Joke (1) Greyson (1) Hair Sytle (1) Hand (1) Health (1) Herpex (1) High Urinals (1) Hitler (1) Hotel Jokes (1) How (1) Human Stupidity (1) I Have This Ball (1) If General Motors Built Cars like Microsoft (1) Its Sunday (1) Japan Indoor Beach (1) Japanese Pranks (1) Jeff Dunham (1) Jingle Bombs (1) Job interview (1) Jokes (1) Jokes for adults (1) Jumping Egg (1) Kid (1) Kissing Jokes (1) Kyushu Island (1) Lady GagaThe Ellen Degeneres Show (1) Life is Too Short For Wrong Job (1) Lindsay Lohan joke (1) Magazine illusion (1) Marika Fruscio (1) Marriage quotes (1) Married Joke (1) Mathematics (1) McBurger (1) Miniature Food (1) Miss Dropped Skirt (1) Miyazaki (1) Mother Day (1) Mud Festival (1) NASA (1) Never Give Up (1) New Year Jokes (1) News Articles (1) Obama Girl (1) One Day In Mental Hospital (1) Only three doors (1) Outer Space Jokes (1) Owned Moments (1) PISS OFF (1) PORSCHE (1) Paint (1) Paintball Fail (1) Paparazzi (1) Paper (1) Parents Gray Hair (1) Party (1) People Count Cash (1) Perfect Women (1) Permission to Date My Daughter (1) Pipe Rolls (1) Pixar Film Introduction (1) Police (1) Polish (1) Poor (1) Potato Family (1) Potheads (1) Powerful (1) Pregnancy (1) Psychologist Humor (1) Queer (1) Quotes (1) Quotes from stupid (1) ROOMMATE (1) Rapist Search (1) Red Neck Jokes (1) Riddles (1) Roles (1) Sacrifice Love (1) Safety at Work (1) Scared (1) School Photo (1) Sex Accident (1) Sex or Diet (1) Sexy Skirt (1) Sexy Under the rain (1) Sexy and Wired Fashion Show (1) Shower With Beautiful Girl (1) Skateboard (1) Smart Dogs (1) Snake Flossing (1) Soap Saga (1) Stick of Dynamite (1) Stupid Robbery (1) Stupid quotes by George W. Bush (1) Sunday Joke (1) Super cute babe (1) TV Jokes (1) TV Videos Collection (1) Takes A Photo Of Himself Everyday (1) Talented Dog (1) Tattoo Locations (1) Technological Doctor (1) Thai (1) The Chicken and The Horse (1) The Cookout (1) The Facelift (1) Tiger Woods (1) Tired (1) Trick (1) Two Prostitutes (1) UFO (1) Vagina (1) Vampire Party (1) Viagra Cartoon (1) Viagra Joke (1) Viagra JokesSee (1) Vodka (1) Wacky (1) Wedding Dance (1) Wee Piggy Gieco (1) Who like Global Warming (1) Wired Hobby (1) Wired Talent (1) Women Demotivational Poster (1) Work Safety (1) Wrong (1) Xbox 360 Maniac (1) Your Funeral (1) Zombie (1) address (1) aids (1) america (1) animals (1) annoying (1) anti smoking commercial (1) axe commercial (1) baby (1) beach (1) big (1) bird (1) birth (1) blair (1) bone car (1) butter (1) buy a candy (1) car joke (1) cat (1) cheap airline (1) chinese (1) chinese new year jokes (1) christmas jokes for adults (1) clean jokes for work (1) college (1) controlversial Titles (1) cool tuning car (1) crazy women (1) creative box (1) dentist (1) dirty name (1) doctor joke (1) dont move (1) drink coffee (1) e-mail (1) environment (1) experience (1) fail instruction (1) fine (1) football (1) french kiss (1) funny Picture : Automatic Paintball Gun (1) funny birthday wishes (1) funny commercials (1) funny jokes stories (1) funny love story (1) funny pics (1) funny samsung jokes (1) funny stories to tell friends (1) gajah (1) geico (1) girl drunk (1) giving (1) graduate (1) hearing (1) holy shits (1) honest (1) horse riding (1) hot girl (1) hza joke pictures (1) incredible (1) indonesia haze joke (1) internet (1) japan (1) japanese new pillow (1) job interview attire (1) joke names (1) joke story (1) jokes for kids (1) kfc (1) kiss (1) kiss girlfriends (1) ladyboy (1) lawyer (1) liar (1) love kissing (1) marriage secrets (1) marriage secrets success (1) married jokes (1) miniature girl (1) miniature magazine (1) money (1) money jokes (1) no money no honey (1) no money no honey a study of street traders and prostitutes in jakartaDo (1) owner (1) oxy (1) pertandingan (1) pets (1) pig (1) piggy (1) pillow cover (1) pillow jokes (1) pillow talk (1) pimples (1) play (1) safe sex (1) scenes (1) sex (1) sex joke (1) sexy baby (1) shark (1) signboard (1) super dog (1) super funny (1) supermarket (1) think (1) titanic (1) tokio hotel (1) truck (1) virgin (1) wash your ball (1) wife photo (1) women age (1) work . (1) zebra (1)