Funny Story : $200 Bucks

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

" Hi, is Tony home?" 

" No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

" No, come in." 

They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. 

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together." 

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves. 

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. " 

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?" 

 

Funny Story

Scene: A courtroom where a witness is testifying in a case involving a man biting off the ear of another man during a fight. After supplying testimony which was very bad for the defendant, the witness was being cross examined by the defendant's attorney.

Attorney: You said that you saw the defendant and the plaintiff in a fight?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: You then said that you were concerned for your safety and that, because of this concern, you sought shelter elsewhere?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: You further stated that during this time of seeking shelter, you turned your back to the fight at hand?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: And THEN you testified that that was when the defendant bit off the plaintiff's ear??!!

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: Well, that makes for an interesting question then! If your back was turned to the fight then you obviously MUST have had the plaintiff and the defendant out of your field of vision, correct?

Witness: Yes, correct.

Attorney: Well then, did you SEE the defendant bite off the plaintiff's ear?

Witness: No.

Attorney: (Smugly) THEN HOW DO YOU "KNOW" THAT THE DEFENDANT BIT OFF THE EAR OF THE PLAINTIFF IF YOU DID NOT SEE HIM DO IT??!!

Witness: I saw him spit it out.

(Dead Silence)

Attorney: No more questions.
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