1. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like
it that way."
2. Drum on every available surface.
4. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
5. Ask 800 operators for dates.
6. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
7. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
8. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
9. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
10. Set alarms for random times.
11. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
12. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
13. Honk and wave to strangers.
14. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
15. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
16. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
18. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
19. only type in lowercase.
20. dont use any punctuation either.
21. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
22. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
23. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
26. Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
27. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
28. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
29. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
30. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
31. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
32. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
33. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
34. Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
35. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up!" and repeat.
36. Drive half a block.
37. Name your dog "Dog."
38. Ask people what gender they are.
39. Reply to everything someone says with "That's what YOU think."
40. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
41. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".
42. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
43. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
44. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
45. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
46. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
47. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
48. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
49. Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
50. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
51. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
Coffee or Tea - Customer: Waiter, is this supposed to be coffee or tea? Waiter: What does it taste like? Customer: It tastes like gasoline! Waiter: Well, sir, that wou...