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Vampire Party



 This event sponsored by Djuice and Leo Burnett Budapest was designed to raise awareness of a blood drive. PR Agency Arterego PR and Event agency Traffic also contributed to the success of this event.


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Pillow Jokes

New Japanese Pillow - See other pictures here
Mueller is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family.

Mueller is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to receieve 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn't want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled.

Mrs. Mueller is first.

"What do you wish for yourself?"

"I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings."

"Okay, that shall be granted to you."

Mrs. Mueller has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows.

Next it is Mueller's mother-in-law's turn.

"What do you wish for yourself?"

"I would like a pillow bound on my rear end and a pillow bound on my back before the lashings."

"Okay, that shall be granted to you."

The mother-in-law receives her fifty lashes, but hardly feels the pain through the pillows.

Then comes Mueller himself.

"What do you wish for yourself?"

"I have two wishes. Do you want to fulfill them for me?"

"Because you are a guest in our country, we want to fulfill your wishes for you, as long as they are reasonable."

"I would like 100 lashes instead of 50."

The executioner is surprised, but recovers again right away and replies, "Yes, that is a pious wish, it shall be granted to you. And what is your second wish?"

"I would like to have my mother-in-law bound to my back." Source : JokeBuddha




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Look The Most Wired & Hot Car






See More Wired & Hot Car Here
Car Jokes
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"

Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.

"That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!" Source : Car Jokes


 
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Who Wants to be a Millionaire

See more Viagra Cartoon or Viagra Joke click here
 
A crate load of Viagra was stolen from a distribution depot - Police were looking for hardened criminals.

It has been revealed that criminals who steal Viagra will face stiff sentencing
...Then there was the man who got his Viagra tablet stuck in his throat and suffered from a stiff neck
 
There's a new beverage on the market today. It is called Viagraccino - one cup and you are up all night

A man and his wife went to the chemists to pick up his prescription. Seeing the £10 per pill price, the man was astonished - but his wife had a different opinion - Oh, £40 a year ain't too bad.
 

A report out today states that gardeners will not need to stake tomato plants any longer. Just one Viagra tablet in their water, and they stand up straight and firm. 




 Read more Funny Story ? Please click here for more



Mom, Dad... I'm A Father!

A few months ago I got a letter from my ex-girlfriend, telling me that she was pregnant, and that I was the father! I freaked out!!! 

I was scared to death! I didn't know what to do, and finally decided to tell my parents. I didn't know how to tell them, I was just so ashamed. I ended up just giving them the letter with tears in my eyes. They didn't take it well. 

To make things worse, they took me to my grandparents' house, where they all had a long talk about my situation. It was hell! My grandparents are very old-fashioned and, as you can imagine, they didn't take it well either. I needed to get out of that house and get some fresh air! 

I ran to my best friend's house and told him about the letter. My friend has a pretty sick sense of humor and he seemed to think it was pretty funny to see me squirm like this. The more upset I got at him for laughing at my problems, the more he laughed. 

Finally it dawned on me! HE had written that letter, not my ex-girlfriend! It was his idea of a funny prank! I was so pissed at him, I could have killed him! Literally! 

I ran back home and told my parents that the letter wasn't real and it had just my friend's idea of a joke. I don't know which talk was worse. Telling them I was the father of a my ex-girlfriend's baby, or telling them that it was all a mistake. Now my parents knew I was sexually active. That's something I would have rather kept to myself!!! 

To top it all off, my parents had that "safe sex" talk with me, telling me about condoms and all that other stuff. I was embarrassed as hell!


Read more Funny Story ? Please click here.

Secret to a Great Marriage

Successful marriage secret highly depend on each couple




1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and
companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.


2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in NY

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" "Somewhere I
haven't been in a long time!" So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker Then
she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her
an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the
carburetor I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."

8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but
BOY, can she climb a tree now!

9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...

10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" . Source : Joke email

Read advices below,

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Mother-in-law's dentures

See more jokes related to Dentures 1,Dentures 2, Dentures 3 ,   
Reena, who hailed from a small town in Punjab, moved to New Delhi to live with her daughter and son-in-law. Since she was not keeping well lately, her daughter suggested she move into their home in the city. She brought along most of her treasured possessions which included a small box with five broken teeth from her dentures.

Once settled in the new environment, she asked her son-in-law, Dev where she could get her dentures mended.

Dev offered, "Give them to me and I'll take them to a dentist."

Reena gave her little box containing the teeth to Dev who took them to a dental lab.

He asked the technician how long it would take to mend the dentures, to which the technician replied, "About an hour."

Dev tells him, "I'll do some shopping and collect the dentures on my way back."

When Dev returns to the lab, the technician hands him a plastic bag and his mother-in-law's little box. He says, "I'm sorry I could only fit five of the teeth to the denture."

"Oh!" exclaims Dev,"and what happened to the sixth one?"

"It's here in the box," answers the technician, showing it to Dev. "Fitting the teeth is easy but it's impossible to fit this peanut."





You must be a dentist?

See more dentist jokes here.
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink. A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands.

 The girl looked at him and says: 'You must be a dentist!' Flabbergasted, the guy responded 'Yes, that's amazing how did you figure that out ?' The girl said: 'Easy .... you keep washing your hands' One thing led to another, they migrated to the bed and things became more passionate. 

After they were done, the girl said: 'You must be a GREAT dentist!' The guy was very very surprised, and said 'Yes, I sure am a great dentist ... How did you figure that out??'
The girl said: 'Easy ... I didn't feel a thing' 

Mr Bean see dentist

See more joke about dentist : Dentist 1 & Dentist 2 
How a dentist make money ? Rich Dentist

Sunday Joke : Married Problem

A man whose wife had been running about with many men decided to bring things to a head so he wrote the following letter to one of the men:

"Mr. Brown, please be at my office at at 4pm tomorrow to candidly discuss your relations with my wife".

The next day he received the following reply:

"Mr. Jones, your circular letter received - I will attend the conference on time!!" Read more married Joke ?

Read 4 common marriage problems, 5 Sign your have married problem, how to save your married ?


List of Dirty Mean Names

 
 
Aaron Thetires (Air in the Tires)
Abe Rudder (Hey Brother)
Abbie Birthday (Happy Birthday)
Abel N. Willan (Able and Willing)
Achilles Punks (I'll Kill These Punks)
Adam Bomb (Atom Bomb)
Adam Meway (Out of My Way)
Adam Sapple (Adam's Apple)
Adolf Oliver Nippils (Ate Off All Of Her Nipples)
Al B. Zienya (I'll Be Seeing You)
Al DePantzeu (I'll De-Pants You)
Al Gore-Rythim (Algorithym)
Al Kaholic (Alcoholic)
Al Kaseltzer (Alkaseltzer)
Al Kickurass (I'll Kick Your Ass)
Al Killeu (I'll Kill You)
Al Luminum (Aluminum)
Al Nino (El Nino)
Al O'Moaney (Alimony)
Alpha Kenny Wun (I'll Fuck Anyone)
Alec Tricity (Electricity)
Alex Blaine Layder (I'll Explain Later)
Alf Abet (Alphabet)
Ali Gator (Ali Gator)
Allota Fagina (A lot of vagina)
Amanda B. Recandwithe (A Man to Be Reckoned With)
Amanda Lay (A Man To Lay)
Amanda Hugnkiss (A Man to Hug and Kiss)
Andy Gravity (Anti-Gravity)
Andy Structible (Indestructible)
Anita Cock (I need a cock)
Anita Bath (I Need A Bath)
Anita Hoare (I Need A Whore)
Ann B. Dextrous (Ambidextrous)
Ann Chovie (Anchovy)
Ann Tartica (Antartica)
Anna Linjection (Anal Injection)
Anna Mull (Animal)
Anna Rexiya (Anorexia)
Anne T. Lope (Antelope)
Annie Buddyhome (Anybody Home)
Annie Mah (Enema)
Ariel Hassle (A Real Hassle)
Artie Choke (Artichoke)
Aunty Biotic (Anti-Biotic)
Ayma Dommy (I'm A Dummy)
Ayma Moron (I'm a Moron)
Barb Dwyer (Barbed Wire)
Barb E. Cue (Barbecue)
Barry D'Alive (Buried Alive)
Barry D. Hatchett (Bury the Hatchett)
Barry Shmelly (Very Smelly)
Bart Ender (Bartender)
Bea O'Problem (B.O. Problem)
Bea Sting (Bee Sting)
Beau Vine (Bovine)
Ben Crobbery (Bank Robbery)
Ben Dover (Bend Over)
Ben O'Drill (Benadryl)
Ben Thair (Been There)
Ben Lyon (Been lieing)
Bess Twishes (Best Wishes)
Betty Bangzer (Bet He Bangs Her)
Betty Beatzer (Bet He Beats Her)
Betty Humpser (Bet He Humps Her)
Bill Board (Billboard)
Bill Ding (Building)
Bill Leeake (Belly Ache)
Bill Lowney (Bologna)
Bjorn Free (Born Free)
Bo Nessround (Bonus Round)
Bob Frapples (Bob for Apples)
Bowen Arrow (Bow and Arrow)
Boyd Schidt (Bird Shit)
Brice Tagg (Price Tag)
Brighton Early (Bright and Early)
Brook Lynn Bridge (Brooklyn Bridge)
Bud Weiser (Budweiser)
Burnedette Down (Burnt it Down)
Buster Cherry (Bust her Cherry)
Buster Hymen (Bust her Hymen)
Cal Culator (Calculator...duh)
Cal Efornia (California)
Cal Seeium (Calcium)
Candice B. DePlace (Can This Be The Place)
Candice B. Fureal (Can This Be For Real)
Carl Arm (Car Alarm)
Carlotta Tendant (Car Lot Attendant)
Carra S. Midown (Caress Me Down)
Carrie DeKoffin (Carry the Coffin)
Carrie Oakey (Karaoke)
Carson O. Gin (Carcinogen)
Casey Deeya (Quesadilla)
Casey Needzit (In Case He Needs It)
Chad Terbocks (Chatterbox)
Chanda Lear (Chandalear)
Chi Spurger (Cheeseburger)
Chris Ko (Crisco)
Chris Mass (Christmas)
Chris P. Nugget (Crispy Nugget)
Chuck Mysak (Chuck My Sack)
Chuck Roast (Hmmm...Chuck Roast?)
Claire DeAir (Clear the Air)
Clara Nett (Clarinet)
Clara Sabell (Clear as a Bell)
Claude N. Skretchem (Clawed and Scratched Them)
Clint Toris (Clitoris)
Cody Pendant (Co-Dependant)
Cole Kutz (Cold cuts) See
Colette A. Day
Colin Allcars (Calling all Cars)
Colleen Cardd (Calling Card)
Connie Lingus (Cunnilingus)
Craig Potz (Crackpots)
Craven Moorehead (Craving More Head)
Crystal Ball (Crystal Ball)
Curt N. Rodd (Curtain Rod)
Curt Zee (Curtsy)
Cy Burns (Sideburns)
Cy Kosis (Psychosis)
Dale E. Bread (Daily Bread)
Dan D. Lyon (Dandelion)
Dan Druff (Dandruff)
Dan Geruss (Dangerous)
Dan Gleebitz (Dangly Bits)
Danielle Soloud (Don't Yell So Loud)
Darius Lesgettham (There He Is, Let's Get Him)
Darrell B. Moore (There'll be More)
Daryl Lect (Derelict)
Dawn Keebals (Donkey Balls)
Dee Capitated (Decapitated)
Dee Faced (Defaced)
Dee Sember (December)
Dennis Toffice (Dentist Office)
Denny Juan Heredatt (Did Anyone Hear That?)
Des Buratto (Desperado)
Diane Toluvia (Dyin' to Love Ya)
Di O'Bolic (Diobolic)
Dick Cumoff (Dick Come Off)
Dick Gozinia (Dick Goes In Ya)
Dick Head (Uhhh...Dick Head)
Dick N. Cider (Dick Inside Her)
Dick Zucker (Dick Sucker...You Know Who You Are)
Dick Tater (Dictator)
Didi Reelydoit (Did He Really Do It?)
Dinah Sore (Dinosaur)
Doll R. Bill...(Dollar Bill)
Don Thatt (Done That)
Doug Graves (Dug Graves)
Douglas S. Halfempty (The Glass is Half Empty)
Drew Blood (Drew Blood)
Drew Peacock (Droopy Cock)
Duane DeVane (Drain the Vain)
Dustin D. Furniture (Dusting the Furniture)
Dwayne Pipes (Drain Pipes)
Dylan Weed (Dealin' Weed)
Earl E. Byrd (Early Bird)
Eda Dick (Eat a dick)
Ed Ible (Edible)
Ed Jewcation (Education)
Ed Venture (Adventure)
Eileen Dover (I Leaned Over)
Ella Vader (Elevator)
Elle O'Quent (Eloquent)
Ellie Noise (Illinois)
Ellis Dee (L.S.D)
Elmer Sklue (Elmer's Glue)
Emma Roids (Hemorrhoids)
Eric Shun (Erection)
Evan Lee Arps (Heavenly Harps)
Evans Gayte (Heavan's Gate)
Eve Hill (Evil)
Eve Ning (Evening)
Eve O'Lution (Evolution)
Ewan Whatarmy (You and What Army?)
Faye Kinnitt (Faking It)
Faye Slift (Face Lift)
Faye Tallity (Fatality)
Fletcher Bisceps (Flex Your Bisceps)
Frank Furter (Frankfurter)
Freida Convict (Free the Convict)
Frank N. Stein (Frankenstein)
Gabe Asher (Gay Basher)
Gabe Barr (Gay Bar)
Gene E. Yuss (Genius)
Gene Poole (Gene Pool)
Ginger Vitis (Gingervitis)
Gil T. Azell (Guilty as Hell)
Gladys Eeya (Glad to See Ya)
Gus Comzadia (Gas Comes Outta Ya)
Gus Tofwin (Gust of Wind)
Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah)
Hal Jalikakick (How'd ya like a kick)
Hammond Eggs (Ham and Eggs)
Hank E. Panky (Hanky Panky)
Harmon Ikka (Harmonica)
Harris Mint (Harassment)
Harrison Fire (Hair is on Fire)
Harry Balzac (Hairy Ball Sack)
Harry Weiner (Hairy Wiener)
Hayden Seek (Hide & Seek)
Haywood Jablowme (Hey, Would You Blow Me?)
Haywood Jashootmee (Hey Would You Shoot Me?)
Hein Noon (High Noon)
Helen Back (Hell and Back)
Helena Hanbaskett (Hell In A Hand Basket)
Henador Titzhoff (He Gnawed Her Tits Off)
Herbie Hind (Her Behind)
Herb E. Side (Herbiside)
Herbie Voor (Herbivore)
Holden Mcgroin (Holding My Groin)
Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn)
Holly Wood (Hollywood)
Homan Provement (Home Improvent)
Homer Sexual (Homosexual)
Howard I. No (How Would I Know?)
Howe D. Pardner (Howdy Partner)
Hu Flung Pu (Who Flung Poo?)
Huang Annsaw (Wrong Answer)
Hugh Beeotch (You Bitch)
Hugh deMann (You Da Man!)
Hugh G. Rection (Huge Erection)
Hugh Jass (Huge Ass)
Hugh Mungous (Humungous)
Hugo First (You Go First)
Hy Gene (Hygiene)
Ida Hoe (Idaho)
Ida Whana (I Don't Want to)
Igor Beaver (Eager Beaver)
Ilene Dover (I Leaned Over)
Ima B. Leever (I'm A Believer)
I.P. Freehly (I Pee Freely)
Ira Fuse (I Refuse)
I. Ron Stomach (Iron Stomach)
Ivana Humpalot (I Want to Hump A Lot)
Ivan Itchinanus (I Hate an Itching Anus)
Ivana Kutchukokoff (I Wanna Cut Your Cock Off)
Ivana Tinkle ( I Want to Tinkle)
Izzy Backyet (Is He Back Yet?)
Izzy Cumming (Is He Cumming)
Jack Dupp (Jacked Up)
Jack Koff (Jack Off)
Jack Pot (Jackpot!)
Jacques Strap (Jock Strap)
Jan U. Wharry (January)
Jane Linkfence (Chainlink Fence)
Jaqueline Hyde (Jekyll and Hyde)
Jawana Die (Do Ya Wanna Die?)
Jay Walker (Uhhh...Jay Walker)
Jeanette Akenja-Nearing (Genetic Engineering)
Jed I. Knight (Jedi Knight)
Jeff Healitt (Did Ya Feel It?)
Jenny Tull (Genital)
Jerry Atrics (Geriatrics)
Jim Nasium (Gymnasium)
Joanna Hand (D'ya Want a Hand?)
Joe Czarfunee (Jokes Are Funny)
Joe King (Joking)
Jose Frayed (Who's Afraid)
Juan De Hattatime(One Day at a Time)
Juan Fortharoad (One For the Road)
Juan Nightstand (One Night Stant)
Juana Bea (Wanna-Be)
Justin Case (Just in Case)
Justin Credible (Just Incredible)
Source : Funny Name

Carrot Slicer

Jim worked in a carrot canning factory for over 30 years. One day he came home to his wife to tell her that he has terrible urges to stick his d#ck into the carrot slicer. His wife is shocked and suggests that he should see a therapist to talk about it, but Jim said he would be too embarrassed. He said it was probably just a phase and he would be ok. 

One day a few weeks later, Jim came home. His wife could see that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Jim?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this incredible urge to put my d#ck into the carrot slicer?"

"Jim, please tell me you didn't!"
"Yes, I did."

"My God Jim, what happened?"
"I got fired."

"Oh no! I mean why? What happened to the carrot slicer?"
"She got fired too."

Dentist Joke : Sacrifice Love





A man rushes into a Dentist's office accompanied with his wife.


The man pleaded to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one big of a hurry!
I have two team partners sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf.

I can't wait for anesthetic to work and loose my precious time.
So doc, forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it.

The dentist pondered to himself, "This sure is a strange strong patient asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain for the love of game."

So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth it is to pull?"
The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth, Honey, and show him your aching tooth."

Never Judge a Man By His Appearance

At a New Year celebration meal an American to the Chinese man sitting next to him, pointed to the soup and asked somewhat condescendingly, 'Likee soupee?'
The Chinese gentlemen nodded eagerly.

A little later, it was 'Likee fishee?' and 'Likee meatee?' and 'Likee fruitee?' and always the response was an affable nod.

At the end of the dinner the chairman of the Yuan-Xiao festival introduced the guest speaker of the evening: none other than the Chinese gentleman who delivered a penetrating, witty discourse in impeccable English, much to the astonishment of his American neighbour.

When the speech was over, the speaker turned to his neighbour and with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and asked, 'Likee speechee?'

Another story,

Chen was extremely hungry, so he left work and went to a local snack bar where he bought a cake.  When Chen had eaten the cake, he found that he was still famished, and so he ate a second one.

Even then he was not full up and promptly ate six cakes in succession, but he hadn't satisfied his hunger.  Not until Chen had eaten the seventh cake did he feel satisfied. 

Then, suddenly, he had a feeling of regret. 'Ah, if I had known this before, I would have eaten the seventh cake first and that would have been enough and there would not have been any need to eat those six others.'
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